Heavenly humour stress break

sermon interpretive dance

 

“The Flight to Egypt”
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle’s picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
“The flight to Egypt,” said Kyle.
“I see … And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,” Ms. Terri said. “But who’s the fourth person?”
“Oh, that’s Pontius-the Pilot.” said Kyle.

 

Don’t Look Back”
A young boy was being taught the story of Sodom and Gomorrah one morning in Sunday School.
The teacher was explaining how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.

The story evidently sat well with the boy because he excitedly raised his hand at the conclusion of the story and told his teacher, “My mom did the same thing last week. She was driving down the road, looked back, and turned into a telephone pole.”
– As told by laughalot-owner@laughalot.com

 

 

One Question”
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son.
He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.”
His son asked, “And what happened to the flea?”

 

“The Lord’s Prayer”
A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord’s Prayer
She was reciting it all by herself without help from her mother.
She said, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail. AMEN”

 

Kids’ Letters to God”

  • Dear God, In Sunday School they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? – Jane
  • Dear God, I think about You sometimes even when I’m not praying. – Elliot
  • Dear God, Did You really mean “do unto others as they do unto you?” Because if you did, then I’m going to fix my brother. – Darla
  • Dear God, I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday. – Margret
  • Dear God, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? – Norma
  • Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t You just keep the ones You have now? – Jane
  • Dear God, What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. – Jane
  • Dear God, Thank You for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. – Joyce
  • Dear God, Why is Sunday School on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. – Tom L.
  • Dear God, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up. – Bruce
  • Dear God, My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha. – Danny
  • Dear God, Of all the people who work for You, I like Noah and David the best. – Rob
  • Dear God, We read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said You did it. So, I bet he stoled Your idea. Sincerely, Donna
  • – Sent by laughalot-owner@graceweb.org–Original Source Unknown

 

 

Morning Coffee”
A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning.
He had made her coffee.
She drank what was the one of the worst cups of coffee in her life.
When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup.
She said, “Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?”
Her grandson said,
“Grandma, it says on TV – ‘The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'”

 

Little Johnny’s Pain”
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, “Johnny, what is the matter?”
Little Johnny responded, “I have pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

 

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied: “They couldn’t get a baby sitter.”

 

A Conversation with God”
A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds.
He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God.
“God”, he said, “How long is a million years?”
God answered, “In my frame of reference, it’s about a minute.”
The man asked, “God, how much is a million dollars?”
God answered, “To Me, it’s a penny.”
The man then asked, “God, can I have a penny?”
God answered, “In a minute.”

 

  A kindergarten teacher was walking around observing her classroom of children while they were drawing pictures. As she got to one girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
      The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”
      The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”
      Without looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

 

A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday to spend the day hiking in the wilderness. Rounding a sharp bend in the trail, he collided with a bear and was sent tumbling down a steep grade. He landed on a rock and broke both legs.
      With the ferocious bear charging at him from a distance, the preacher prayed, “O Lord, I’m so sorry for skipping services today. Please forgive me and grant me just one wish—make a Christian out of that bear that’s coming at me!”
      At that very instant, the bear skidded to a halt, fell to his knees, clasped his paws together, and began to pray aloud at the preacher’s feet: “Dear God, please bless this food I am about to receive.”

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