He Touched Me

This group should be signed to a recording contract. I had goosebumps all over me listening to their joyous and spirit-filled singing. They shine with the love of Christ in their hearts as they sing.

I am so excited to share with you that my Lord touched me today. My wife, Karen, as many of you know, is preparing to begin her Master of Divinity training this January at Trinity College in the University of Toronto. She needs to send her transcripts from a postsecondary school she attended. The school’s web site makes it difficult to know how students can get their transcripts. On one of their sites the phone number was the wrong number. Karen is growing more frustrated. She finally gets the required information, but the process of obtaining it exhausts her. Given that she has been battling a bug and a sinus infection too for over a month, you can understand the way she is feeling.

I went upstairs to have a bath. My bathtub is my prayer closet. It is here as I listen to reflective music, that God speaks to my spirit the most. There is a strong leading in me to sing songs to calm Karen down.  A peace comes over me.

The Holy Spirit speaks to my heart.”Kevin, I know your throat is sore from your sinus infection. Don’t worry about how you will sound. I’ll give you the voice you need. I’m calling you to minister in song to my child, Karen.”

I started singing The Lord’s Prayer. I couldn’t at first believe how much better I sounded than ever before.  The words come with a sweetness mixed with a delicate power unlike I have ever experienced. The Amen at the end shocks me at how it has a deeper resonance and fullness than ever before. I think to myself. This has to be God’s work. There is no logical explanation for me being able to sing with more power as I’m recovering from a respiratory bug and sinus infection.

I call out to Karen from two flights of stairs up from her. “Darling, did you hear me sing?” She says with a growing peace in her heart, “I did. It was so beautiful. I feel at peace.”

I could feel darkness leaving our home and light coming in.

When my Lord touched the singing voice He gave me, He did something even more wonderful. My Lord infilled me with a peace unlike I have ever known. He said to my wounded heart, “Kevin, I will heal you of the pain of your abuse from your manic depressant schizophrenic father. I don’t want you living with this terrible guilt in you. There was nothing more you could have done to help protect your mom. I am improving your singing and speaking voice because I have important kingdom work for you to do.”

I’m no one special. I’m a sinner deserving of Hell. Yet, in my Lord’s love for me He no longer wanted me as the song He Touched Me says, “shackled with a heavy burden ‘neath a load of guilt and shame.  Then, the hand of Jesus touched me, and now I am no longer the same. He touched me. Oh, He touched me, and oh the joy that floods my soul. Something happened and now I know. He touched me and made me whole.”

I still have inner healing work to do. That is the terrible thing about abuse. The healing often comes in bits and pieces. If I have read my Lord right significant inner healing happened combined with a miracle of a greatly improved singing voice.

Why does God heal some and not others? I really don’t know. To truly know would be to say I know God’s mind. We as mortal beings cannot understand the ways of our eternal God.

Many of you have written to me about your abuse. You can’t move beyond its painful memories, no matter how hard you try.  I had to forgive my father for how he abused me, because unforgiveness would have destroyed my life. I would have been filled with hate and rage. It would have destroyed my life.

I do understand if you never forgive your abuser. Let’s agree together that if I progress with prayer and counseling on my healing journey, you will join me.

Let us listen to one another and learn from one another. Somewhere along that pathway we can spur one another on in our inner journey.

I don’t have all the answers for you. You’ll probably end up teaching me far more than I could ever teach you. I pray as I read all of your comments about your abuse. I want you to know I’m here to listen.

Maybe, just maybe,  as we interact with one another, something said or shared will open up rivers of healing in your life unlike you have ever known.

Come with all of your burden and cares to God’s throne of grace and let Him touch you. Then, you too will no longer be the same. The full healing may still take time, but at least you can be encouraged you have started along that road.

I hope what I have shared has uplifted you.

In some of my future posts once I am well, I will share the songs my Lord has put on my heart to sing for you.

May the Lord wrap His tender arms of compassion around you.

Kevin

http://www.marmarthunder.wordpress.com

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